A few years ago on Rosh Hashana, when I was still “raw” so-to-speak
in my newfound religious way of life (not that I am currently or ever will be
“stable” or that one ever should be, as Judaism urges us to “toil in Torah,” to
constantly struggle with God, to question Him and ourselves, and to continually grow), my mom attended services with me and commented/asked about a topic
that hits the core of Judaism. She was
somewhat bothered by the numerous prayers where we call upon Hashem as our only
true source of strength, the only One in whom we can have complete faith, the
only One in whom we can confide every ounce of our being without fear, to the
exclusion of the reliability of our fellow man.
To be honest, I don’t remember what I said when she asked how I
felt and I doubt I would answer the same today.
But if I was asked again today, here is how I would (and I suppose, am)
responding:
As we prepare for Rosh Hashana during the month of Elul (the last
month of the year), we recite Psalm 27 every morning and evening. This psalm states: For though my father
and mother have forsaken me, the Lord will take me in. Teach me Thy way, O Lord! And lead me in an
even path, because of them that lie in wait for me. God is always there for us, He is more
reliable than even our parents, spouses and siblings, who are the people we
trust the most! When Hannah was barren
and so desperately wanted a child, it was God in whom she confided, God in whom
she found solace, and God who was capable of answering her heartfelt pleas. When Hagar and Ishmael
were cast out of Avraham and Sarah’s house, it was God who heard baby Ishmael’s
plea when his own mother had abandoned him, it was God who saved him from dying
of thirst in the desert. When the Jews stood at the sea with the
Egyptians in pursuit, it was God in whom Nachshon ben Aminadav placed his
trust, God who parted the sea and saved the Jewish people.
So too for us today, it is God to whom we can turn at any moment
and for any reason. When our families
are going through a tough time, a loved one becomes ill or passes away, or we
are just dealing with a difficult time…others can always sympathize and can offer
support, but only God can understand your innermost thoughts and feelings. In our typically day-to-day life though, how
often do we actually notice God’s presence?
For many of us, we don’t feel as if “mundane” prayers make any inroads
in our own life or in God’s will in running our life. And yet as Jews we are required to pray three
times daily. Rabbi Nachman reminds us
why:
Even
if many days and years pass and it seems as if you have accomplished nothing
with your prayers and conversations with God, don’t give up! Every single word makes an impression. Water wears away stone (Job
14:19). It may seem that water dripping
on hard stone could not make any impression, yet when water drips on stone
continuously for many years, it can literally wear a hole in the stone. We actually see this.
Even
if your heart is like stone and it seems that your words of prayer are making
no impression at all, still, as the days and years pass, your heart of stone
will also be softened, for water wears away stone.
With this realization in mind we must be hopeful that our prayers
have made but a small dent in our hearts this year and that we have removed
even but one of the very outermost klippot (shells) that block us from
connecting with God. And at this time of
year, as the Gates of Heaven are opened and God is waiting for us to turn to
Him and waiting to greet us for a new beginning and a new year, hopefully our
drops can become heavier, our prayers can become stronger, and our hearts can
become softer.
I find Rabbi Hirsch’s words helpful:
Seek
God not in the harmony of the planets, in the thunder of the universe, in the
interaction of the physical elements, or in the revolutionary upheavals which
change the destinies of nations – but in your own small human individuality.
The
stars must move along paths which were assigned to them by the Creator. The interactions of physical elements and the
conflicts of nations are governed by the immutable laws of nature which God
established at the time of Creation. But
for those whose hearts yearn for God, whose minds seek Him, God, with His
almighty power of creation, remains unfailingly willing at each moment to shape
a new world, a new life and a fresh new future.
The
formation of nature is complete but the creation of mortals, the planting,
care, maturation, the development of human and Godly attributes of man, are
continuously unfolding miracles of creation which put all human wisdom to shame
and defy all calculations.
So no, I am not bothered by our prayer book’s calling to place our
faith in God over, but not to the exclusion of, man. God is a personal God, not an abstract, distant, theoretical God that I can only turn to in times of need. It is God to whom I can turn at any moment –
whether in grief or joy. Yes, I also
have friends and family in whom I can and do confide and yes, that human element
is oftentimes necessary and comforting.
But it is only God who truly understands each and every innermost
thought and feeling.
Shanah Tova u’Metuka! Have a
happy and sweet new year!
