Sunday, June 30, 2013

Parshat Balak: Zelophechad’s Daughters, Moshe Relinquishes his Leadership, and KOACH’s Closing

It was quite fitting that this week in shul, I was given the fourth aliyah, which continues and finishes the laws of inheritance that arise in the merit of Zelophechad’s daughters.  It is fitting because this story, more than any other, reminds me of KOACH (and Conservative Judaism) and, sadly, this was KOACH’s last Shabbos.  I was heavily involved in KOACH and the Conservative movement during my junior and senior years at Miami University, and the organization and rabbis in the organization were instrumental to my growth as a Jew.  And although I no longer identify as Conservative, I found myself surprisingly sad last week when I heard that the KOACH program had been defunded.  I put a lot into and got a lot out of it in college, and many rabbis and friends I know have been and still are being affected by it.  I suppose that gut reaction just goes to show how important KOACH really was to me.

I remember learning in depth some of the laws of inheritance at the Conservative Yeshiva and how they stemmed from this week’s parsha about Zelophechad’s daughters who wanted to carry on their father’s name and inherit a portion of the land of Israel.  They brought their request before Moshe, who in turn passed their request on to God, who replies: “The daughters of Zelophechad speak properly.  You shall surely give them possession of inheritance among the brothers of their father” (Numbers 27:7).

But laws of inheritance aside, I remember the story of Zelophechad’s daughters being used as an example to inspire us, as Conservative Jews at KOACH to stand up for what we feel is good and right, even if not the norm (I can’t remember if this was taught by a rabbi their or was brought up by a fellow student, but it stuck with me either way).  It certainly was not the “norm” for daughters to receive their father’s inheritance, but Hashem deemed the daughters of Zelophechad’s request to be good: “The daughters of Zelophechad speak properly.”

I and many others who were involved in KOACH as participants and leaders, often felt that we too were working towards a Jewish community that was more “right”, more complete, more holy, than what is currently available on campus…and in the broader Jewish world.  Towards what many called a “pluralistic halachic community.”  A community of acceptance, observance, and Torah learning.

But as I read over the text of my aliyah (along with rabbinic commentaries) again this afternoon, I was struck by what comes immediately after the story with Zelophechad’s daughters.  The torch of Jewish leadership is passed from Moshe to Joshua before the Israelites enter the land of Israel – a land which Moshe himself, our leader for 40 years, will not be allowed to enter.  According to Rashi, these two passages were placed side-by-side because Moshe may have thought that, just as the daughters’ request was received favorably by God, that God might also grant his request to be allowed to enter the land of Israel.  Instead, God reiterated his previous response hat Moshe would not lead the Jews into Israel: “You shall see [the Land] and shall be gathered unto your people, you, too, as Aaron your brother was gathered in; because you rebelled against My word in the Wilderness of Zin, in the assembly’s strife, to sanctify Me at the water before their eyes” (Numbers 27:13-14).  Moshe, like Zelophechad’s daughters, directed his heartfelt plea for what he felt was right, even earned and deserved, to God.  But his response was not as he hoped; God said “no”.

Like Zelophechad’s daughters and Moshe, we must give voice to what our inner self tells us to be right – but our voice must be directed to the right place.  Zelophechad’s daughters voiced their concerns to the leader of the Jewish people, Moshe, and then God Himself.  His answer to them confirmed that, yes, their inner thoughts were appropriate and they were allowed an inheritance.  But we must realize that the answer will not always be “yes”.  Sometimes – like with Moshe being allowed to enter Israel – the answer is “no”.  And when the answer is “no” we must accept that as equally as when the answer is “yes”.  Moshe, when he is told he will not be entering Israel, responds with a prayer for the Jewish people: “May Hashem, God of the spirits of all flesh appoint a man over the assembly, who shall go out before them and come in before them, who shall take them out and bring them in; and let the assembly of Hashem not be like sheep that have no shepherd” (Numbers 27:16-17).  Despite his desire for the answer to be otherwise, Moshe accepts God’s answer that he will not be allowed to enter Israel, and continues to be the leader of the Jewish people, looking out for their best interests even when he experiences personal disappointment.  

Interestingly enough, I think that may be one of the reasons (among many) I drifted away from Conservative Judaism.  Sometimes it just seemed that many halachic leaders of the movement were just not able to accept a “no” answer.  Their voice wasn’t always directed to the right place and their answers didn’t always come from the right place.  Nonetheless, I would not be the Jew I am today without the wonderful experiences I had and the wonderful people I have met and become friends with through KOACH, the Conservative Yeshiva, and the broader Conservative Movement.  The loss of KOACH will certainly be felt on campuses across the country.