Thursday, November 29, 2012

Parshat VaYishlach: Jacob and Esav’s – A Reunion

This year, I have continued my commentary on the Jacob-Esav encounters that take place in this week’s parsha, which I began in last year’s post “When PrayersCollide.” 

In Chapter 22 of Bereishit (Genesis), Jacob and Esav have a spiritual collision, an encounter that is outside of physical boundaries and showcases the power that prayers can have.  Chapter 23 follows with the physical encounter of the two brothers, the first time they have seen each other in 20 years.  This is an encounter that certainly is influenced by the twins’ history – both during their younger years (growing up in Isaac and Rebecca’s home) and the prayer-encounter that occurred just the night before their reunion. 

“He [Jacob] himself went on ahead (of his camp) and bowed low to the ground seven times until he was near his brother.”  And Jacob, weary of a further attempt on his life by his brother Esav, attempted to calm his brother’s anger.


“Esav ran to greet him.  He embraced him and, falling on his neck, he kissed him; and they wept.”  But Esav, having recognized God’s will, submitting to Jacob’s physical and spiritual destiny to be blessed ahead of him, greeted Jacob as a beloved brother.  Jacob, moved by Esav’s warm welcome, relaxes and finally displays his joy at seeing his brother after such a long separation.  Momentarily, the two brothers forget their differences and enjoy each other’s company.  But the moment is fleeting.

“Looking about, he [Esav] saw the women and children.  Who,’ he asked, ‘are these with you?’”  As the immediate excitement of seeing his brother subsided, Esav desires to meet his brother’s new family.

“He [Jacob] answered, ‘The children with whom God has favored your servant.’  Then the maids, with their children, came forward and bowed low; next Leah, with her children, came forward and bowed low; and last, Joseph and Rachel came forward and bowed low.”  And the fleeting moment of lightheartedly basking in each other’s presence passed.  Jacob’s wariness returned, as he humbled himself, calling himself Esav’s “servant.”  And as instructed, his wives and children also showed great deference to their brother-in-law and uncles. 

“And he [Esav] asked, ‘What do you mean by all this company which I have met?’  And Esav innocently asks, ‘Why have you given me so much of your livestock?  I, too, have plenty for myself and all my household.”

“He [Jacob] answered, ‘To gain my lord’s favor.’  To make sure that your wrath of twenty years ago did not still linger, that you did not desire to kill me and all those travelling with me.

“Esav said, ‘I have enough, my brother; let what you have remain yours.’  Despite all you have taken from me – my birthright and my firstborn blessing – I have nonetheless worked to provide for myself and my household.  I no longer hold those against you; I recognize the Divine will that I will not overcome you.  Yes, I have moved on from my younger years and have finally reached an internal peace; you owe me nothing.

“But Jacob said, ‘No, I pray you; if you would do me this favor, accept from me this gift; for to see your face is like seeing the face of God, and you have received me favorably.  Please accept my present which has been brought to you, for God has favored me and I have plenty.’ “Please,” says Jacob, “Accept what I have offered to, in some small way, atone for all that I have taken from you.” For while Esav had accepted defeat, had accepted the loss of his birthright and the loss of his blessing of the firstborn, and had even accepted that Jacob’s prayer won Divine favor over his own…Jacob felt remorse that he had usurped the birthright and the blessing, he felt sorrow that his brother, who had now began the process of teshuva (repentance), was not able to have those blessings himself. 

“And when he [Jacob] urged him, he [Esav] accepted.”  And when Esav saw that Jacob’s persistence would not end, he accepted the gifts of his brother. 

“And [Esav] said, ‘Let us start on our journey, and I will proceed at your pace.’  And Esav prepared to remain reunited with his brother, to travel to Seir side-by-side. 

“But he [Jacob] said to him, ‘My lord knows that the children are frail and that the flocks and herds, which are nursing, are a care to me; if they are driven hard a single day, all the flocks with die.  Let my lord go on ahead of his servant, while I travel slowly, at the pace of the cattle before me and at the pace of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir.’  But Jacob did not wish to remain with his brother, Esav.  “Go ahead of me,” he urges his brother, “for I will follow you at a slower pace.”  Although Jacob’s intention were not to see his brother again, for they had been individually successful while apart and he was unsure if such success was possible together; he was unsure if his brother could remain at peace with him.

“Then Esav said, ‘Let me assign to you some of the men who are with me.’ So Esav offered Jacob some of his men, fearing that Jacob would not follow him to Seir, and wishing that he and his brother could finally live in harmony. 

“But he [Jacob] said, ‘Oh no, my lord is too kind to me!’  But Jacob, knowing that he would not be seeing his brother again, would not accept Esav’s men.

“So Esav started back that day on his way to Seir.  But Jacob journeyed on to Succot, and built a house for himself and made stalls for his cattle; that is why he place was called Succot.”  So the two brothers again parted ways, to live in their separate lands, and only to be reunited again at the time of their father’s death:

“And Jacob came to his father Isaac at Mamre, at Kiriat-Arba – now Hebron – where Abraham and Isaac sojourned.  Isaac was a hundred and eighty years old when he breathed his last and died.  He was gathered to his kin in ripe old age; and he was buried by his sons Esav and Jacob” (Bereishit 35:27-29).   

At this point I wonder of the importance that both Esav and Jacob buried their father, Isaac.  Earlier in the Torah we see that both Isaac and Ishmael participate in burying their father, Avraham, as well.  What is the significance of both pairs of brothers – the one destined to be a patriarch of the Jewish people and the other a rather un-esteemed (fairly or unfairly) character – coming together to bury their fathers?  In both instances, the Torah immediately follows the burial with a listing the descendents of the “lesser” son (Ishmael and Esav, respectively).  Why is it that their lineage is worthy of mention at this time?  I believe it is because despite the many bad traits these two characters display, they are fulfilling the important commandment to honor their parents (father, in this case).  For all their faults, they are able to let go of their gripes with their more-favored brothers for the sake of their fathers whom they have the obligation to bury and respect, even in his death. 

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